is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize