I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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