I'm lost and stupid without you.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Randomize
