Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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