i think i have herpe
just one?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Randomize
