just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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