he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You have to summon your inner elephant
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
