my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
