I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
