Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
