Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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