Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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