I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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