Have you finally orgasmed yet?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
