Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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