We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
