he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
