Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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