At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
