ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
