As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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