so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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