I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
