I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
