It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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