So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
