Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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