they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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