you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
