we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
