capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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