Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
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