I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
