he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize