thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
