Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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