If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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