no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
