Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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