so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
