I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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