Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
