i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
