I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
