4 words: hood of his car
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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