ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
