So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize