handjob tips. give me some.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
