I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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