Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
