pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
