is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
