I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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