Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
