can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
