She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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