idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
is wine microwaveable?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
