We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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