I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
