i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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