Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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